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// filtered by #Animals — 74
Fish are the easiest creature to weigh. They have built-in scales.
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Animals OneLiner
I saw a dead fly on a window sill. I guess now it's a flew.
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Animals Classic Funeral OneLiner
I recently got a pet tree. It's a lot like a dog, but the bark is much quieter.
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Animals Classic Plants Nature
I'm a "Catch and Release" fisherman. Mostly because they release themselves before I can catch them.
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Animals Sports
When a bee landed near some sushi, the sushi said, "Wasabi?"
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Animals Classic FoodAndDrinks OneLiner
Do you know why you never see pigs hiding in trees? Because they can't actually get in trees.
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Animals FunFact Nature
Bees have sticky hair because they use honeycombs.
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Animals Classic
Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, "How to you drive this thing?"
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Animals Classic Weapons
The waiter asked the duck how he wanted to pay for his drinks. "Put it on my bill."
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Animals Classic FoodAndDrinks
Remember: A cow that has given birth is officially de-calf-inated.
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Animals Farm FunFact
I bought my wife a diamond ring, but the dog ate it. Now it's a diamond in the ruff.
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Animals FoodAndDrinks Relationships
I think I'm going to give up my career as a cat burglar, way too many scratches.
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Animals Crime Work