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My candle just handed me it's resignation letter. It said it was burnt out.

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OneLiner Work

I got a job making plastic Draculas, but there's only two of us doing this. So I have to make every second Count.

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OneLiner Time Work

I'm convinced all my haters must work in a movie theater, because they're clearly projecting.

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Relationships Work

Whenever a lumberjack cuts down a tree, he adds a tally to his log.

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Classic OneLiner Work Nature

The construction workers had issues, but they hammered them out.

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Relationships Work

I always found the shovel to be a ground breaking invention. However, it was the wheel that got things rolling. But best of all, it was the broom that truly swept the nations!

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FunFact History Pun-Ishing Work

I used to work at a recycling plant crushing cans, but I didn't last long. The work was soda pressing.

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Classic Environmental FoodAndDrinks Work

My boss told me I'm the worst train conductor he's every seen. "How many trains have you derailed this year?" "I don't know. I lost track."

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Work

I think I'm going to give up my career as a cat burglar, way too many scratches.

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Animals Crime Work

I first met my wife while we were both working in a glue factory. We bonded immediately. I'm hopeful our marriage will stick and she never leaves my side.

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Pun-Ishing Relationships Work

If I clean out the vacuum, does that make ME the vacuum cleaner?

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Deepthoughts Work

My wife told me to stop bothering her while she worked, or else she'll drag my face across the keyboard. I'm not too worried, though. I'm sure she just awsfghtthh thedccbjuikknmkloiijhgvv .hgv,zxfdsweto fcvggyhjjjjikkmjjrtuiikjnnmkll

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