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// filtered by #Classic — 20
Priests make holy water by boiling the hell out of it.
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Classic FunFact OneLiner Religion
A kidnappers favorite shoes: white vans.
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Classic Crime OneLiner
If you build a man a fire, you'll keep him warm for a couple of hours. If you set a man on fire, you'll keep him warm the rest of his life.
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Classic Deepthoughts
What do you call a girl with no arms? Sarah. Because that's her name.... Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Sarah!
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Classic OneLiner
A joke becomes a dad joke only when it becomes a-parent.
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Classic Family
I had a woman ask me if I wanted to go out for dinner. I told her I was married. She reminded me she is my wife. I told her I make no exceptions.
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Classic Relationships
A bear says to a bartender, "I'll take a rum... and Coke." Bartender asks, "What's with the pause?" The bear replies, "I was born with them."
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Animals Classic
The scarecrow won an award for being outstanding in his field.
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Classic Work
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
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Classic FoodAndDrinks
A heard there was a kidnapping at school yesterday! It's ok - he woke up.
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Classic Kids School
I asked my wife if I was the only one she ever dated. She said, "Yeah, the others were all nines and tens."
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Classic Relationships
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So we had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.
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Animals Classic Technology