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// filtered by #Kids — 22
My drummer friend had twin daughters. They were named Anna One, Anna Two
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Classic Kids Music
Parents need to remember that children are mostly invincible, they can only take minor damage.
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Family Kids Medical
My friend is having a baby soon, she wanted my advice on naming her little girl Madeline. I told her I wasn't sure that name fit. She asked about about the name Margarine instead. I told her that was not butter.
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FoodAndDrinks Kids
I was so angry with my son for losing his cello, but I insisted on staying calm and not resort to violins.
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Family Kids Music OneLiner
I told my daughter she had to go to bed because the cows were sleeping in the fields. She replied, "What's that got to do with anything?" "Because it's pasture bedtime!"
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Animals Classic Family Farm Kids
I asked my kid what he learned in school today. "Apparently not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow!"
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Family Kids Learning School
My teacher asked for a sentence using "details," "defense," and "defeat." So I submitted, "When a dog jumps over defence, defeat go first, then detail."
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Kids Learning School Words
I went to get a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids anymore. But then I came home, and they're still there. It didn't work.
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Family Kids Medical
My child spent most the day carrying around a pile of dirt in his hand. He said there was a seed planted in it. He wanted to grow a palm tree.
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Kids Plants Nature Body
The older I get, the more I think Monsters Inc is right: Take the energy from the children!
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Culture Kids Movies
Today I found out most doctors don't consider babies born at home to be considered "deliveries." They say if the child is born at home, then it's not delivery. It's Digiorno.
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FoodAndDrinks Kids Medical
My wife told me I was being immature last night. So I made her get out of my pillow fort.
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Kids Relationships SelfDeprecation