THEDADABASE centralized. dadified. terrible.
+ Submit a Joke

Browse Dad Jokes

// filtered by #Family — 15
Parents need to remember that children are mostly invincible, they can only take minor damage.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Kids Medical
My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, unlike the passengers in his car.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Cars Family Funeral
I was so angry with my son for losing his cello, but I insisted on staying calm and not resort to violins.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Kids Music OneLiner
I told my daughter she had to go to bed because the cows were sleeping in the fields. She replied, "What's that got to do with anything?" "Because it's pasture bedtime!"
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Animals Classic Family Farm Kids
I asked my kid what he learned in school today. "Apparently not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow!"
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Kids Learning School
The man who stole my journal recently died. My thoughts are with his family.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Crime Family Funeral
I went to get a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids anymore. But then I came home, and they're still there. It didn't work.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Kids Medical
A joke becomes a dad joke only when it becomes a-parent.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Classic Family
My dad asked me if I wanted to join him for some hunting. I told him, "I'm game," so he shot me.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Weapons
The other day I got my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Tools
I Keep a picture of my wife and daughter in my wallet so I can remember why I have no money in it.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family Money Relationships
I was raised an only child, which must've been hard for my sisters.
Avg ★ ★ ★ ★
Rate
Family OneLiner