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We had a bread factory burn down last week. Officials say everything was toast.
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The answer to all your problems MIGHT be hidden underneath a perfectly cooked steak. It might not, but it's worth checking out. If that doesn't work, you might want to check the bottom of a pan of brownies - I've had luck there, too.
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I heard an experience elephant broke out of the circus. It turns out he was tired of working for peanuts.
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Animals
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A new study said that most husbands don't know their wife's favorite flower. But I know my wife's is self-rising.
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Plants
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BetterOutLoud
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I just quit my terrible job at the candy store. So long, suckers!
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My lettuce got angry with me and said, "Oh kale no!"
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Most people don't realize the angriest nut is the the pissed-achio.
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BetterOutLoud
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My wife wanted me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it!
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Why do shooting stars taste better than comets? They are a little meteor.
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FoodAndDrinks
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I heard a celebrity chef recently died. He pasta way. You know, as people, we cannoli do so much, and ultimately we'd like for our legacy to become a pizza history. In the end, we all run out of thyme.
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I'm pretty sure toasters were the first form of popup notifications.
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I find it interesting that "muffins" spelled backwards is the action you do when you take them out of the oven.
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