THEDADABASE centralized. dadified. terrible.
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// filtered by #Deepthoughts — 28
People who take care of chickens are literally Chicken Tenders.
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Animals Deepthoughts FoodAndDrinks OneLiner
Study's show that people with more birthdays live longer.
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Deepthoughts FunFact
I was thinking how weird it would be if trees pooped. Then I got scared because I realized we already have #2 pencils!
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Bathroom Deepthoughts Plants
If you build a man a fire, you'll keep him warm for a couple of hours. If you set a man on fire, you'll keep him warm the rest of his life.
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Classic Deepthoughts
People want to deny the earth is flat, but no one is willing to recognize the undeniable fact that out of the nearly 72% water coverage of the earth, almost NONE of that water is carbonated!
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Deepthoughts Science
So many people have told me I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson, and those people are called witnesses.
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Crime Deepthoughts
I'm trying to be more green these days. That's why you've heard most of these jokes before. They're recycled material.
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Deepthoughts Environmental
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a career as a hiking guide.
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Deepthoughts Sports
Some people would see a dad-abase like this one and think it would be pun-ishing to put together. But the hardest part for me to quip this thing up was jest finding the time to make it happen.
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Deepthoughts Meta PunIshing
Whenever you meet Death, don't challenge him to a pillow fight unless you're willing to deal with the reaper cushions!
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Deepthoughts OneLiner BetterOutLoud
If you love someone, set them free. If you don't like someone, also set them fr- JUST STOP CAPTURING PEOPLE!
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Crime Deepthoughts
People always talk about chasing their dreams, but no one ever explains why their dreams are running away. What did you DO to your dreams to make them run from you?!
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Deepthoughts Fear