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I recently got a pet tree. It's a lot like a dog, but the bark is much quieter.
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It was raining coins today. We're really starting to see the product of climate change.
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The ocean's favorite topic to talk about must be current events.
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I once stayed up all night long trying to figure out where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
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Whenever a lumberjack cuts down a tree, he adds a tally to his log.
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Classic
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Work
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Do you know why you never see pigs hiding in trees? Because they can't actually get in trees.
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Animals
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It seems killer whales have started attacking boats on the West Coast at an alarming rate. Police fear it might be an act of orca-nized crime. I think they fear there's a full on crime fin-dicate behind the attacks. Others believe the crime theory is a bit fishy, and boaters are just blubbering over mother nature fighting back. Either way, they are definitely doing it on porpoise.
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Animals
Boats
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It's raining cats and dogs out there! Be sure not to step on a poodle!
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Animals
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My child spent most the day carrying around a pile of dirt in his hand. He said there was a seed planted in it. He wanted to grow a palm tree.
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Trees are always ready for a good pool party; they're always wearing their trunks.
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You've got to be careful walking on grass. It's full of blades!
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OneLiner
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A surfer wanted me to cut through the waves with him. He was surprised when I went to grab a sea saw.
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Sports
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