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My wife wanted me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it!
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FoodAndDrinks
Relationships
Shopping
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I was shopping for a couch the other day. I found one I liked, but it was discontinued, and the display model had a "sold" sticker on it. So close, but sofa.
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Furniture
Shopping
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Julie Andrews once bought a vibrant cheap lipstick that fell apart on her and gave her bad breath. Her super color fragile lipstick gave her halitosis.
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Culture
Movies
Pun-Ishing
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Inflation is even taking the cost of balloons sky high!
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Money
Pun-Ishing
Shopping
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Did you hear about the dandruff shampoo company that’s making a full body wash? It’s gonna be called, "Head and Shoulders: Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes."
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Business
Shopping
Body
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My wife says I'm oblivious when shopping. Apparently it never registered to me the cashiers are always checking me out. I can't blame them, though; I'm quite the item.
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Pun-Ishing
Relationships
SelfDeprecation
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I thought I had a great deal on a limo rental. But it turns out, it didn't cover the cost of the driver. I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
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Cars
Shopping
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Went to Dunkin yesterday. Surprised there weren't any basketball players....
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FastFood
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Sports
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Got home last night and found my wife on ebay. If she's still there when I get home today, I'll lower the price.
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Classic
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Technology
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I saw Captain Hook at Goodwill this weekend. Not too surprising given it's a second hand store.
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Movies
Pirate
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Cashier asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag. I told him, "No, just leave it in the jug."
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FoodAndDrinks
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Some guy stopped me on the street, and tried to sell me a casket! I told him that's the LAST thing I'll ever need!
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Deepthoughts
Shopping
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